Lyrics

She wanted an even more soothing darkness. It was a comfortable room furnished with rare and intensely personal taste. She began to lose confidence in the fullness of her life, the glow began to fade. They feared and hated her. She pitied and despised them. Perhaps there was too much of it, and therefore it was less than nothing. She went through moments of overwhelming anguish. Its possibilities made her feel a little hysterical. She had no intention of running away, but something, some imp of contumacy, drove her. The thought of love stayed with her, not prominent, definite, but shadowy, incoherent. She began to make plans and to dream delightful dreams of change … of life somewhere else. The last day came. The last goodbyes said. She cloaked herself in a faint disgust. Why had she lost her temper and given way to angry half-truths? She felt consoled at last for the spiritual wounds of the past. The night was far from quiet, the streets far from empty. She liked the small murmur of wonder and admiration. A glare of light struck her eyes; a blare of jazz split her ears. She wasn’t one of them, she didn’t at all count. Between them the vastness of the universe had come. She caught only words, phrases, here and there …superb … eyes … colour … neck column …yellow … hair … alive … wonderful … She couldn’t stay. Nor, she now saw, could she remain away. She understood them too well, was too tolerant of their ignorant stupidities. She lived over these brief seconds, thinking not so much of the man whose arms had held her as of the ecstasy which had flooded her. She was silent. She did not listen, the horror held her. She would have to have something else besides. She felt compensated for all the previous humiliations and disappointments, and was glad. She had to put it brutally as anyone could.